Relationships: T.L.C. for Your B.A.E.

Relationships are hard work. We hear it from all walks of life, but until you’ve been in your forever relationship, it’s hard to understand what that means and what it entails. Regardless of your situation, there will be doubt and fear. Not knowing if your relationship can withstand the test of time, but also withstand every curveball life throws at it, can be scary…Really fucking scary. So, how do you know if your relationship is worth the fight? Let’s break it down together…

  1. You can’t picture your future without this person. This requires more logic than emotion and I’ll explain why. As Selena Gomez once said, the heart wants what it wants, but the heart can be blind, deaf, and all around psycho. If your relationship is healthy and consistent, then there is reason and logic in staying and working at it. If your relationship is unhealthy and toxic, obviously life without this person might suck at first, but in the long run it’ll be better.
  2.  You both are willing to work on yourselves. This may seem obvious but love can blind us. Most of our lives we have been dependent on ourselves. We build habits, good or bad, and these can ultimately affect how you work with a partner. Whether your communication habits and skills are weak, or you have a hard time being vulnerable, these need to be worked on in order to better the relationship. If your SO is not willing to work on themselves, why should you have to? Silly question, but seriously. In my personal experience communication was a skill both my husband and I lacked. I over-communicated and he under-communicated so we both had to work at finding OUR happy medium and it has made all the difference.
  3. You understand each others “Love Language”. I want to slap myself for saying this, but honestly as cliche and silly as this sounds, it helps. Your Love Language identifies how you personally feel loved and accept love. Whether its through physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, or acts of service, this information is incredibly useful to have. Why is it useful? ONE REASON… If you can’t deliver to your partners love language, or more importantly, if they can’t deliver to yours, you won’t feel fulfilled emotionally. My Love Language is quality time, so if Ivan and I don’t spend enough time together doing activities or things that bond us together, I feel unfulfilled. He knows this so he is able to prioritize how we spend our time together. Look into it, it’s solid.
  4. You both share the same values and morals. If you and your honey are on the same page about where you want to be in the life and what the ends goals are, this makes it so much more helpful in working at your relationship. Agreeing on everything won’t happen. You’re two different people, but as long as you both have a similar understanding on what is important to you (whether it be politics (ew), finances, family, religion, etc.), then the foundation is already there.
  5. The thought of another partner grosses you out… Like vomit inducing. If the idea of another partner doesn’t gross you out, you need to say adios… Pronto. Similar to #1, but you need to WANT this person more than any designer handbag. If you think for one moment that there could be someone who could tickle your fancy a little more, than there is no reason to drag out your current relationship. On the other hand, if you’re like me and the thought of being with someone else makes you want to hurl while simultaneously catapulting yourself off of the tallest cliff in the world, then I would consider staying where you’re at and work through your disagreements.

 

NO relationship is perfect, that’s the beauty in it. What’s important is how you tackle the bumps in the road. Arguments, disagreements, mistakes, miscommunications are all fine and normal, but the bounce back is what matters.