This birthday has been “creep creep creepin'” up on me… (If you know where that is from, I love you).
t h i r t y.
For some reason that number just sounds scary. It hits different. I feel like my childish behaviors are no longer acceptable now! In the past thirty years I have gone through quite a lot and because of that, I have learned so much about myself, life, relationships, people, places, things, ideas… All the nouns.
In my thirty years of life I have faced my fears, I have seen different parts of the world, I have loved, I have lost, I have brought new life into this world, I have lost myself, I have found myself, I have learned my value and worth, I have messed up a lot, I have learned so much, I have self sabotaged a lot of connections, I have learned to be vulnerable, I have dealt with the darkest of days and the lightest of days. Long story short, I have lived.
I wanted to create my 30 in 30 list more so for my sake. I wanted to run through thirty things I’ve learned over the past thirty years as I head into my birthday tomorrow and see how far I have come. So, here we go. I hope these life lessons help you in some way, shape or form.
1. | protect your peace at all costs |
Through the years of my adult life I have truly realized the value in maintaining peace of mind. Anyone or anything who affects that even in the slightest either needs to go or needs some boundaries put in place.
2. | the only opinion that matters is your own |
We spend so much time in our lives worrying about what other people think of us and if they like us, etc. We seek this outward validation and for what? At the end of the day the moment you love yourself, everything changes. No other opinion matters but your own. Focus on that. Make sure you like who you are and see how you become free.
3. | one-sided “anything’s” are not worth your time |
Friendships, relationships, connections, jobs, whatever, if you are the only one putting in the work and putting in effort, with little to nothing in return, bye Felicia. We don’t have time for that.
4. | meditation is crucial |
I can’t even begin to explain how amazing meditation is… probably because it’s a future post ;). Being able to calm your mind and inwardly explore and heal is something that is so slept on. Take care of yourself, it changes everything in life.
5. | whatever you’re not changing, you’re choosing |
We get so caught up in repetitive patterns and staying complacent in fear or change or making a decision that is a “wrong” decision, but honey, if you ain’t happy change that shit!
6. | nothing should be forced |
Whatever is for you, will be. It’s as simple as that. If you feel the need to force anything in your life, re-evaluate if it’s truly meant for you.
7. | education is power |
This is something my dad has always said to me, and it’s true. Education is power. We’re not talking about schooling or college, but read, explore, ask questions, learn something, teach yourself, expand your mind. The more you know the more powerful you can be.
8. | learn to be ok being alone |
Take time in your life to be alone and find peace. It’s so easy to become dependent on social media and other people to distract you from yourself. This is how codependency tendencies can begin. Nip that shit in the bud, babe. Learn to be alone and enjoy it.
9. | people come and go |
I genuinely believe everyone comes into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. With that, people will come and go based on what their purpose is in your life. Understand this and allow it to happen. The ones that stay, cherish them for life.
10. | comfort kills |
All magic lies outside of your comfort zone. All your dreams, aspirations, goals and wishes all lie outside of your comfort zone. Get to moving and charge towards being uncomfortable.
11. | “this too shall pass” |
My mom says this to be almost daily! This too shall pass. The dark moments or days will pass to be lighter. Rough times will pass and bring about smoother times. Know that everything is temporary, good and bad.
12. | your gut is the only one to follow |
We all have this amazing gift, our intuition, and she does not lie! She is as truthful as they come.
Now our brains, they love to self-sabotage and create false narratives out of irrational fears. Our hearts, they just want the fairytale story and they don’t know right from left. BUT! Our gut, she is all knowing. Trust her fully.
13. | “no” is the most amazing word |
Use it often. “No” is not offensive or insulting. It is strictly the opposite of “yes” and it is amazing at creating boundaries. If you don’t want to do something…Just. Say. No.
14. | being open-minded is highly attractive |
Especially after 2020, being open-minded to other peoples thoughts, opinions, and perceptions is just an attractive quality. No one has this shit figured out, so have intellectually driven conversations and allow others to think with their own mind.
15. | life doesn’t get easier, you just learn to adapt |
Flexibility is literally the key to getting through all the shit life throws your way. Being able to bend and flex and adapt to all that happens is what will keep you afloat.
16. | everything has an expiration date |
Your relationship, your life, your salsa, your job, the bottle of advil, everything. That can either be depressing or it can be a wake up call to truly enjoy everything and everyone in your life and take advantage of the present moment that you are in. The past will never change, the future is dependent on now. Stay present.
17. | overthinking will ruin it every time |
Overthinking literally fucking ruins everything. After ruminating in your mind and playing out every possible scenario, it impossible to get back to being in the truth of the situation. Once you feel yourself going down that rabbit hole, redirect your attention and get busy.
18. | your happiness is your responsibility |
NO ONE, and I mean no one can be or should be responsible for your happiness but you. Until you are happy with yourself, you won’t be happy with anyone else.
19. | social media sucks |
We all know it to be true, but we are all addicted in some aspect. Whether we’re addicting to comparing ourselves to others, receiving likes, getting noticed, getting validation, whatever the case may be, it’s unhealthy and it sucks.
Just a reminder, nothing is real on those apps. Not even your gorgeous filtered selfie.
20. | time is fleeting |
We all know this, but guess what, we can’t get time back! Time is the most precious thing we have in our lives and yet we take it for granted every day.
You will never get this moment back, so start making all the seconds, moments, minutes, and hours truly count.
21. | everything happens for a reason |
So cliche, but it’s the damn truth. Everything that happens to you, for you, against you, etc. is for a reason. You may not understand what that reason is in the moment, or a week later, or a year later, but eventually, you’ll know and it’ll be for your greater good.
22. | personal development will change your life |
Why do you think the “self-help” section at bookstores are so big? Reading or listening to personal development books will absolutely change your life in the best ways possible. You are doing yourself a huge disservice by not incorporating that into your life, even 20 minutes a day.
23. | most people can’t read minds |
COMMUNICATE! Tell people how you feel or what’s going on in that pretty mind of yours! They can’t read your mind and figure out what you need, want, or desire. Let that shit be known!
24. | tit for tat is for children |
Pettiness needs to stop. Stop playing the games. If someone treats you a certain way, just let it be. Don’t get even, don’t reciprocate, don’t get in your feelings, just let it go! Let their true colors shine and leave them in love and light.
25. | cutting people out of your life isn’t selfish |
If you need to just cut people out of your life, then do so! Preferably have a conversation, but if you can’t and the last resort is just going MIA, then do whatever you need to do to keep you mental on point. This might not be popular opinion, but ya live and ya learn!
26. | if they care, you’ll know |
If you have to question how someone feels towards you or about you, or if you have to question your place in someones life, then you probably aren’t Top 8 on Myspace, ya feel?
If you matter to someone, you won’t ever have to question that.
27. | nature is all healing |
Spend time outdoors as often as possible. Feel the sun and the breeze, listen to nature, ground yourself outside. It will change your life.
28. | it’s ok to not have it all figured out |
I spent the better half of my life living by some weird timeline I had in my head. Graduating by 20, career taking off at 22, engaged by 25, married by 27, kid by 28. Did it happen like that? Damn straight, I made sure of it, but look at where I am now…
Unemployed, single mom, divorced. Loving it, but also, the timelines get in the way of divine timing and the universe working in your favor. Let things happen naturally, let life pan out with you trusting the process. Make decisions out of love and happiness, not because you feel like you need to hit milestones by certain ages.
And look, if you’re not where you thought you’d be by now, cherish it, it means the best has yet to come.
29. | your health is your wealth |
If you’re not taking care of your health, you are literally cutting your life short. Your health should be number one all the damn time.
Take care of you… Mind, body and spirit.
30. | age ain’t nothin’ but a number |
Thirty feels heavy. I feel like I’m still 22 at times, but age is nothing but a number. Go back to school at 40, get married at 50 (or not at all), start a new career whenever the hell you want. Stop thinking your age is some timeline of accomplishments.
Enjoy the ride, however different it looks than others.
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