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6 Ways to Fight Healthy in Relationships

August 13, 2018 Comments Off on 6 Ways to Fight Healthy in Relationships

When it comes to disagreements in relationships, there is one main factor that can control the entire outcome of your squabble… Whether you care more about being “right” or being fair. There is a very fine line when it comes to fighting and depending on how you cross it, it can either strengthen or weaken your relationship. In order to effectively argue, take note of these six tips…

Watch your approach…
Approach the topic as a conversation versus a fight. Conversations involve two people and they take turns talking and listening. If you can take that into your argument, it will remain calm and fair and it won’t escalate. Also, watch your tone and be careful of how many times you use the word “I”. The more you can phrase your thoughts to “we” the better. It comes across less “naggy” and brings the focus back to the relationship.

 

Focus on the topic…
Depending on how passionate we get in fights, sometimes we can get carried away and drag in five different issues when the fight started solely around one situation. When we bring in to many topics, it is unproductive and gets too overwhelming. Know why you’re arguing in the first place and stick to it.

 

Pick and choose your battles…
Some things are just not worth the aggravation. If you live with your SO, it’s obvious that certain things they do will annoy you, but being annoyed versus being genuinely hurt or upset is a big difference. If it is not a make or break issue, let it go and take one of the team. Not everything has to become a huge issue as long as you are in a mindset of being easy-going and knowing that every relationship isn’t perfect.

 

Put yourself in timeout…
Once I started putting myself in timeout before approaching an argument, a huge change happened. I was so quick to act out immediately that things would escalate to fast and nothing would get resolved. By taking 10 quiet moments alone to compose your thoughts and understand the underlying cause of why you are upset can help immensely when communicating to your partner. Be sure to make sure that what you are upset about pertains to your relationship and isn’t extra baggage you are carrying from another part of your life.

 

Timing is essential…
It’s important to watch when you decide to bring up an argument, fighting before work or bed is not ideal. Make sure you have time to discuss as long as necessary without any pressing time restrictions. It’s always best to keep fights short and simple, but you never want the added pressure of having to get somewhere.

 

Keep it out of the bedroom…
Beyond your bedroom being a place of intimacy, it is always the one consistent place of calm and zen in your house. It is where you go to rest, so make sure you keep it that way. Fight outside of the bedroom in a quiet space with the television off and cell phones on silent and facedown.

 

Always remember why you love your partner and how happy you make each other, don’t loose sight of the good just because you hit a bump in the road. How do you and your SO argue? Do you argue often or rarely? How do you resolve conflict? Let me know in the comments!


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